Dog House

1)  I'm going to be working at DNA13 this fall.  Software development.

2)  Feral.  It was great!  Although not as exciting as the first time I went; seeing as I had seen it all before.  It was still fun though.  Brawnwyn's (sp?) DJ set was my favorite.  Almost felt like a rock show.  Bullet with butterfly wings.  I think I got better at capture the flag.  Assassin class rules all.  I think I may need to learn the lyrics to Personal Jesus for next year.  I came within a few inches of touching that damn apple with my arrow.  This con did nothing to help me get over the creepy I feel around fursuits.  Having Shayde with me made a lot of things easier.  I love special K.  PG13+.

3)  Feral.  Ottawa furs are cursed.  I swear it.  Car accidents, incidental party cabin with noise complaints, 3 stitches in my left knee, rental companies not giving us a car with a trunk to actually carry luggage.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/6/20/745000/-If-your-lifestyle-isnt-wrong-then-why-are-you-always-ashamed

This is from an artist I've grown to like a lot.  Makes a really dark and "off kilter" comic known as "A Softer World".

I didn't enjoy this for the back and forth between the two people.  I enjoyed this for the eloquent arguments given.  I wish I could speak like this.  I really hope some day my mind will crystalize to this sort of intelligence.

Canadian politics are boring right now.
Friends are fun to hang around with and plentiful.
It's sunny outside.
I started school.  Again.

I have nothing to report.  Isn't that great!?  ^^

I don't know where I'm going with this... and I mean everything.  I've always lived my life on the moment, not really thinking about the future.  I have -absolutely- no idea where I'll be when I'm 24-25.  I have no idea who my friends will be, where I'll be living, in which city, if I'll be going to conventions, if I'll be working in my field, if I'll like my job, if I'll be working towards higher education, if I'll be wealthy...

I know I'll want a change of direction eventually.  But will I want to opt for getting a house, and barely have anymore time for myself, taking care of everything around it, the garden, grass, a pool, the roof, finishing the basement...  or will I end up in a condo, paying fees every month, but altogether it being cheaper than a house so I can save money on the side as well.  Then I'll have money to go do shit outside and be social... but what if that gets boring?  What if when I'm 40, condo life won't seem so pleasant anymore.

Heh, it's useless to think about that right now I suppose.  Maybe I should just go back to living in the present and letting the future take care of itself.  I seem to be destined for happiness anyways.  I shouldn't worry.

http://drwolfgang.mybrute.com

There are very few reasons not to drink.  One of which I have trouble with.  Let's go through them slowly:
-  Bad history in the family or with alcoholic friends.  AKA fear of addiction  (Alright... this one is emotional.  I don't understand emotions very well so I'll leave this one be)
-  Don't like the taste  (... come one... No one likes the taste of it.  You don't drink booze for the taste.  You drink it because it's BOOZE.  Although Long Island ice tea may change your mind)
-  Too expensive  (Alright...fine.  That's a good one.  There's better stuff to spend money on out there)

Anyways, I could go on.  Here's the one I DON'T like:
-  You don't like the person you are when you're drunk.

Wow...  Concider this:
Alcohol doesn't change you.  It's a depressant.  You know what that means though?  It means the little electrical impulses that make your body work aren't going as fast, and sometimes just lose themselves.  Wow.

The most common effects of this are the loss of feeling in your extremities and a loss of inhibitions, your brain fireing off any thoughts that comes to it naturally, with no social barriers to interfere with it.  Knowing that, what does it mean if someone starts being emotional and talking about his problems?  If someone becomes violent and wants to pick fights?  Feels like hanging around and telling jokes?  It means that the way they act drunk is actually what deep down they feel like.

If you're violent when you're drunk, it doesn't mean that alcohol MAKES you violent.  It means that you were ALWAYS violent, but was repressing it.  But believe me, that anger comes out eventually.  Even without the aid of alcohol.

If you're not drinking because you don't like yourself when drunk, you better rethink your shit.  Start excercising, eating meat and apples.  That's the secret of happiness.  A steak, a couple of apples, cheese, then a night out dancing and drinking.

Yeah... yeah you think I don't see them.  But I see all those devices you have hidden on your face and your hair.  You have too many of them.  One day they'll fucking all break at the same time and what will happen then?  You'll have disease.  You'll have correction fluid running down your pencils... and your face will hate you for it.  You're always smiling... *twitch*  All those sounds they make for your ears to listen... the devices are generating sympathies... the devices are generating loneliness.  But you'll be even more alone when they're gone... and you won't be able to stop smiling!  Geez... open your eyes and let the machines in!  How else are they going to become part of you if they don't nestle in your eyes?  YOU NEED TO LET THEM IN!  They know what you're up to... they're crawling everywhere on your face, going down,  your throat, your thorax, your tibia, your toes, then back to up to your tax returns... THEY KNOW!  Listen to them... they'll tell you what you're doing... they'll tell you whether this abuse of cavalry.  I just hope they find it to be just a little more than that.  That what you're doing is more like alegorically a terror strike on the happiless children of a bottle.  So come one man... don't stress the street.  It's only devices.  They want in.  Let them in.

Okay.  I hear this freaking argument ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Someone PLEASE show me where you need ANY sort of faith in SCIENCE.

I've heard people who debate religion and science (on the side of science) and they concede that you need to believe in certain things with science.  But I've NEVER heard anyone give me a valid example of this.  So please, someone give me an example.

*sigh*...

Okay.  I've been listening to 2 the Ranting Gryphon rant for 5 years.  This is 1/4 of my life, and basically the entirety of my REAL life.   I swear hearing that loud, abnoxious voice is almost soothing now.  Sadly, I've just finished listening to every single 2 Sense show, 2rant, Dear 2, Extra Sense, Song, Liquid Sonic Delusions, Vido 2rants...  I know I'm pathetic.  There's even snippets of certain shows very carefully inserted into the source code of the Canadian Automated Air Traffic System now, within the comments and variable names (int Wichy;  char Chicky[100]).

Problem now is that I don't really have anything to listen to.  I need suggestion for interesting talk radio shows I can download online.

I'll go back over the Jibba episodes until I find something...

I need to ask a question to the folks who are a older than I am.

See, I'm 19.  I'll be 20 in a bit over a month now.  And this scares the shit out of me.

At 19, I'm still a teenager.  I can say that I'm a kid with confidence.  But when I'll hit 20, won't exactly feel right saying I'm a kid.  I'll be a young adult.  The problem with this lies in the fact that I feel, every second of every day, I feel small.  I'll soon be initialising my fourth year of University, I'm already working as a software developer.  I'm living on my own.  I'm engaged...

Isn't that all things people do when hey're well into their 20's?  Like 22-23-24?

I guess this isn't a complaint.  I feel like a fish out of water, but at least I seem to be doing okay.  My student dept isn't overwhelming, my love life is everything I want it to be, I have a bunch of friends (including some that I can trust beyond all else, especially after years of being a shoulder to cry on for them), I'm healthy, I don't have any mental disorders, I don't have enemies...

But despite all that, I feel small.  As though I didn't have any control over the bigger things in my life.  All I can do is manage to control the small things and hope they influence the rest.

So here's the question:  When will I grow up and stop feeling at the mercy of the current as a small fish in the ocean?

I have time to kill.  Lots of time to kill.  I'm supposed to be testing changes I did to an application, but I wrote a script that's doing that for me.  The darn thing has to run over 6 thousand times.  And each iteration is about one second.  I have to do this twice.  That's like an hour and a half each.  Soooo...

What now?

You.Can.Only.Type.One.Word.
1. Where is your cell phone? Coat
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? Adorable
3. Your hair? Red
4. Your mother? Crazy
5. Your father? Mellow
6. Your favorite thing? Gum
7. Your dream last night? Dunno
8. Your favorite drink? Martini
9. Your dream car? Cadillac
10. The room you're in? Cubicle
11. Your ex? Winnipeg
12. Your fears? BEES!
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Doctorate
14. Who did you hang out with last night? Lex
15. What are you not good at? Intergrating
16. Muffins? Films
17. One of your wishlist items? HeathenCity
18. Where did you grow up? Aylmer
19. The last thing you did? Debug
20. What are you wearing? Sweater
21. What aren't you wearing? Underwear...
22. Your pet? Husky ^^
23. Your computer? Laptop
24. Your life? Amazing!
25. Your mood? Stoic
26. Missing? Money
27. What are you thinking about right now? Money
28. Your car? Money
29. Your work? Money
30. Your summer? School
31. Your relationship status? Engaged
32. Your favorite color? Green
33. When is the last time you laughed? ZeroPunctuation
34. Last time you cried? December11th2008

I don't know why I love my province so much... It's probably because of the culture there.  It's so familiar to the rest of North America, yet so unique.  The language is so heavy with feeling, our history seems like a constant underdog struggle to remain ourselves...

Anyways, yeah.  I'm proud of my nation inside a nation.  We've recently been able to produce amazing movies, music, shows, etc.  Our culture is actually crytalising to a point where we can compete on a larger scale.  We aren't simply trying to satisfy our own need for independance, we're expanding beyond that.  But despite that, what we produce will always carry a large portion of our culture, no matter what.  Probably because of the language.

There is one song... by a band I don't know very well, but respect deeply.  "Les Cowboys Fringants" created a song called "Etoiles Filantes".  It's a song about life and how the singer sees passing time.  I don't know what it is about it, but it can always bring a tear to my eye.
 
( Read more... )

I've realised something.  I've never met anyone perfect.

Not everyone is like this; but when I meet someone, I tend to have a picture in my head of what this person is like.  And this picture is always perfect.  They have no emmediate flaws.  This, of course, never ends up being true.

But here's the thing; this is a good thing for me.  Because I'm afraid of perfect people.  They don't seem human.  The less flaws you have, the less I am likely to like you.  There are a lot of folks I've met that have given out a perfect image of themselves.  And I've tried to stay away from them.  But the second I begin seeing flaws in them, I feel more compeled to talk to them and befriend them.


Something else: I'm so happy I'm not all that attracted to the small cute guys.  So many of them are psycho/emo.  Especially before 24.  I swear.  All throughout highschool, the cute sexy guys always ended up crying in corners, getting drunk then emo, being on behavioral meds, being hyperactive and have very little focus, etc.  They could keep up an act for a while, but when you got to know them, they'd cry.  The bigger guys (big in any sense of the word.  Buff, fat, whatever) were always the opposite.  Charismatic, fun, likely to get drunk AND have fun, laid back, MENTALLY STABLE, etc.  At some point in my life, I guess I made a choice.  I decided to work on my mind and spirit and sort of leave my body to it's own devices.  Of course I'm paying just a little for it right now, but I belive I made the right choice. 

Oh well.  I hear about people I know trying to commit suicide, and it doesn't phase me at all anymore.  I guess that's a bit disturbing, but I cannot care anymore.

Granted, I'm not in the best physical state.  I can always work on improving my physical state later though, but for now, while my brain is still fully functional and developping, I'll keep working on improving it to it's full capabilities.



ALSO!  Fuck anyone who thinks that induction is circular logic!  FUCK!  If you think that induction is circular logic, please come to me.  Someone obviously fucked up the explaination of it.
AND!  If you still think that math doesn't work, please, come to me.  Most have seen the "proof" that 2=1.  PLEASE let me show you the mistake in that equation.  It's not obvious, but it's there.

I don't think math and science require any faith.  Just conventions.  We have axiomes on which everything is built.  That's what some people call "beliefs".  But truely, they are just definitions of words.  Like defining what a line, point and plane are.

For example: Axiomes for Numbers: 0 exists.  Any X has a successor called succ(X), X+0 = X, X+ succ(Y) = succ(X) + Y.

From just that, we can build our way all the way up to Intergrals.  The reason why people think we need FAITH is because those axioms seem so far removed from the work we're doing, what we do so high up in the abstraction chain seems baseless; therefore require faith.  But what we really need in math and science is TRUST that the people before us made the right choices and did their work.  We constantly have to go back to make sure our bases are covered.


Finally; I think that believing in / life forces / voodoo / some forms of religion / to be close minded.  I'm NOT saying that those things don't exist.  But we have so little proof for those things...  We don't know how the universe was created?  I'm not going to assume some giant dude made it or that an random explosion created it all.  We're not sure how people cure themselves from cancer with positive attitudes?  I'm not going to attribute it to some invisible life force no one can measure.  I'm just going to say "I don't know!".  Filling those blank spaces with bullshit just limits your mind to the REAL answers.  The truth.

1. Did you date someone from your school?
Sort of.   Pretended to just for fun.  Even after everyone knew I was gay, people still thought me and Chase were fucking.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school?
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.  I'm not a fan of Quebec guys.

3. Did you car pool to school?
Biked or bussed.

4. What kind of car did you have?
Didn't drive at all actually.

5. What kind of car do you have now?
No car.  No need of one around here, really.

6. It's Friday night...where are you (then)?
At a party with Chase.  Leave late and then do homework.  You don't finish highschool with an A+ by just sitting around.

7. It is Friday night...where are you (now)?
Spending time with Shayde or at some bar.

8. What kind of job did you have in high school?
I worked at the Watchrepair Department in Sear, in Hull.  Probably the BEST student job ever.  Sold useless stuff to people who knew they were buying useless stuff.  Having no power is more fun than people let on.  Customer screams at you, they want to make you fear them.  Look back at them with a stoic smile, they'll probably get so angry they'll leave.  And you can't be scolded for doing the wrong thing since you don't HAVE the power to do the wrong thing.  Ah well.  I also miss Mathieu, my coworker.  Crazy mother fucker that dude.  He could tell you how to outrun a bear from personal experience.

9. What kind of job do you do now?
I'm a software developper for NAV Canada, working on some automated air traffic system.  I'm also a college boy.

10. Were you a party animal?
I went to every party I could.  Until I realised highschool parties were fucking lame.  Preventing my friends from falling over / hurting themselves / getting beaten up / biking home drunk / snorting hard drugs --- is not fun.

11. Were you considered a flirt?
Nah.  I don't force my sexuality on people who aren't gay.  I did flirt with a couple of drunken straight guys  (with sexy results), but apart from that, all the gay guys in my highschool came out the year after I left.  Douche bags.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Yes.  Our minimalist jazz group: Chase.  Earlier in highschool, I was in a shitty band that kicked me out a bit later on.  They change their names so often I don't even remember.  They were "Darkest Eulegy" at some point.  I was drummer.

13. Were you a nerd?
Yes.  Which was a good thing.

14. Did you get suspended or expelled?
Never.

15. Can you sing the fight song?
Fight song?  Like... Fight! Fight! Fight! ?

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)?
I'd say Mr. Teunissen, but we liked him because he was teaching an easy class and we had a lot of time to do other shit (movies and potlucks).  I'd say Mr. Parisien, but then told the class (seriously) that "pulling out" was a valid form of contraception.  You don't say that to highschool kids.  No matter what.  I think I'll go with Mr. Desnoyers.  A history teacher.  I don't like history, but he prepared the class for exactly what history classes were going to be beyond highschool.  He was also dead fucking gorgeous >.>

17. Where did you sit during lunch?
Under a tree with all the hippies.  Then we played rugby.

18. What was your school's full name?
Ecole Secondaire Grande-Riviere

19. When did you graduate?
2007

20. What was your school mascot?
A cheap rip off of the Tasmanian Devil.  I'm surprised we never got sued.

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
Fuck yes.  Highschool was the easiest  time ever.

22. Did you have fun at Prom?
Yeah, it was alright.  It was at a Hilton.  My fake prom date ended up kissing a dirty mexican, the afterprom happened in the middle of the forest on a gigantic rock.  Fires, booze and a drunken christian concervative.

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?
Nah.  I still like Noel though.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?
I don't think we have reunions.

25. Do you still talk to people from school?
Yeah.  I'm just a couple of years out.  Chase is coming over tonight as a matter of fact.

I have a new life goal.

I need to find a building.

A tall one.

20 stories.

I then need a simple computer, LOTS of wires and an elecrician.

I then program tetris.  And you know what happens from here?  I PLAY TETRIS ON THE FUCKING BUILDING AT NIGHT BY TURNING LIGHTS ON AND OFF.

Bitch....

Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe that fine.

You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

Note: fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it.

Smoked weed -- £10
Did acid or pills -- £5
Ever had sex at church -- £25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- £40
Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo etc -- £25
Had sex for money -- £100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- £20
Vandalised something -- £20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- £10
Beat up someone -- £20
Been jumped -- £10
Cross dressed -- £10
Given money to stripper -- £25
Been in love with a stripper -- £20
Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- £0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- £15
Ever drive and drank -- £20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- £50
Used toys while having sex -- £30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- £20
Went skinny dipping -- £5
Had sex in a pool -- £20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- £10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- £20
Cheated on your significant other -- £10
Masturbated -- £10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- £20
Done oral -- £5
Got oral -- £5
Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- £25
Stole something -- £10
Had sex with someone in jail -- £25
Made a nasty home video or took pictures -- £15
Had a threesome -- £50
Had sex in public -- £20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- £25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred quid-- £20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- £20
Had sex with someone under the age accepted by rule of thumb (half your age plus 7) -- £25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- £50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- £25
Went streaking -- £5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- £15
Been arrested -- £5
Spent time in jail -- £15
Pissed in the pool -- £0.50
Played spin the bottle -- £5
Done something you regret -- £20
Had sex with your best friend -- £20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- £25
Had anal sex -- £80
Lied to your mate -- £5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- £25

Tally it up and title it: "My Fine Is..."

I was looking at the classes that are waiting for me in the future.  I have a BIG choice of classes.  Something like 2 classes and I have 15 choices per level.

Genetic Algorithms?  Biocomputers?

I hope all these classes won't be too hard xD




Also: Chesstopher Clowumbus.  This is the best character I've ever met.

I'm sure this has happened to a lot of you;  You're debating with someone about something that can be viewed from many, radically different, points of view.  Usually, these debates include someone with strong religious beliefs,  strong patriotic beliefs, etc.  The problem with these, not that they aren't valide, is that they aren't based on logical thought, but rather on strong personal belief.

Again, that's not a problem.  But what happens when the points of view starts to get rediculous?  To the point where their arguments become painfully biased.  That's when the debate problem comes in.  1) If you debate with this type of person, you're giving them and their arguments a semblance of validity (To the audience at least), and it is hard to argue against arguments rooted in culture and belief rather than science and reason.  2) If you refuse to debate, they will call you stuburn and close minded (Which is sort of true).

What kind of solutions are there then?  Well option 2 is out of the question... so you have to show up.  One proposed solution is to begin debating in a clown suit while juggling.  Be completely serious about it, and the audience will laugh.  They will laugh, and believe both of the people debating are joking.  The difference is that they will be right in thinking you're being silly, while the other guy will be stating his arguments, and people will interpret them as jokes.

Okay, so you don't have to dress up in clown suit... but try to think about the subject in a different light.  if you need help with this; look up the Canadian Hippo Party (It's a political party).  And when I say new light, think of a rediculous point of view.  Debating creationism?  Debate that the earth was created by Cthullu spawns.  Debating Genetically Modified organisms?  Debate that the micro-civilisation of `Degass' has been manipulating corn and wheat genes (exclusively) for years already.

A-Z Meme

A
- Available: Not for a relationship
- Age: 19  
- Annoyance: Coronation Street, Real Life fantasy, Heartland
- Animal: Dog at my folk's place

B
- Beer: A 24 every 2+ months
- Birthday: April 18th
- Best Friends: Shayde, Dan, Chase, Lindsay
- Body Part on opposite sex: Hands
- Best feeling in the world: A+
- Blind or Deaf: and Dumb, but still play pinball
- Best weather: Sun
- Been in Love: Yup
- Been on stage?: Yup
- Believe in Magic: No
- Believe in Santa: No

C
- Candy: Fuzzy Peaches
- Color: Red
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
- Chinese/Mexican: Chinese
- Cake or Pie: Cake
- Continent to visit: America
- Cheese: Cheapest marble cheddar abailable
- Car you would never want to have: Hot Wheels

D
- Day or Night: Day
- Dance in the rain: Not really

E
- Eyes: Brown
- Everyone's got a(n): Throat
- Ever failed a class?: No (D+ is still a passing grade)

F
- Full name: Frank Greens
- First thoughts waking up: *Where's my f***** alarm
- Favorite cereal: Wheat squares

G
- Greatest Fear: Bees
- Goals: Happiness through compromise
- Gum: is my drug
- Get along with your parents?: More than anyone else
- Good luck charm: Dr Java

H
- Hair Color: Brown, short for now.
- Height: 5'11"
- Happy: Mostly
- Holiday: Halloween (Fuck your 'en)
- How do you want to die: Screaming

I
- Ice Cream: Strawberry
- Instrument: Piano, Guitar, Drums

J
- Jewelry: Glasses, wedding ring
- Job: Software Developper
- Jaywalk?: Yes?

K
- Kids: No
- Kickboxing or karate: No
- Keep a journal?: LJ and Work Journal

L
- Longest Car Ride: Bus, but from Ottawa to Osoyoos, BC
- Love: Success
- Letter: F
- Laughed so hard you cried: No

M
- Milk flavor: 1%
- Movies: Donnie Darko
- Motion sickness?: No
- McD’s or BK: McD's

N
- Number of Siblings: 1
- Number of Piercings: 3
- Number of tattoos: 0
- Number: 28, 6, 48, 12

O
- One wish: Ubisoft game development
- Ovaltine: Never had it
- OS: Vista, Mandriva & Moonshell (DS)

P
- Perfect Pizza: Vegetarian / Hawaienne
- Pepsi/Coke: Pepsi

Q
- Quote: "My toaster has an 'abort' option, but I don't use it. I just pull it out with a coathanger"
- Quit: /q

R
- Reason to cry: Puppies
- Reality T.V.: None
- Radio Station: The BEAR
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: Yes
- Ring size: 9.5
- Readin’, ‘Ritin’, ‘r ‘Rithmatic: Gay

S
- Song: Floating Down the River Once Again - Tears for Fears
- Shoe size: 12-13
- Salad Dressing: Ranch
- Sushi: Sometimes
- Skipped school: Does it count in Uni?
- Slept outside: Yes
- Smoked: Socially
- Skinny dipped: Yes
- Shower daily: Mostly
- Sing well: No
- In the shower: Relax
- Swear: In french
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries
- Steak: Medium rare, LOTS of pepper

T
- Time for bed: 10-11
- Ticklish: To a fault. And it makes me ANGRY
- Thunderstorms: Calming

U
- Unpredictable: Intergrated Circuits, Assembly Language and C/C++
- Umbrella or jacket: Both

V
- Vacation spot: Nederland
- V-8: Eww D:
- Vote: Yes (once!)
W
- Weakness: Lions
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Matt
- Who makes you laugh the most: Lindsay
- Worst feeling: Hunger, stress from thinking you're fucking up your life
- Wanted to be a model: No
- Where do we go when we die: Well I think you return to obscure... or where ever you were, before you were.  But I won't let myself get lost in the rain.
- Worst Weather: Deep Freeze (-30 to -40).

X
- X-Rays: None
- ‘Xes: What?

Y
- Year it is now: 2009
- Yellow: Kidney Failure

Z
- Zoo animal: Giraffe

Remember kids.  When you wish to make a tar ball, user 'gtar' and make sure to add the -h option if you have symbollic links.

The more you know.